This is a collaborative post.
Life can be unpredictable, and with it comes many situations in which we need to broach difficult topics and make firm decisions to move forward. For example, if you’re made redundant from your job, you may need to restructure your life to reflect the new reality of your household income, until you find another job at least.
Firm decisions aren’t always negative in scope of course. It might be that you’ve moved into a new area, and now your child has more than one excellent school to attend, a good problem to have. Still, a decision needs to be made, and even a positive decision can be a difficult one to approach.
A strong relationship is often defined by how it operates during these tougher moments. How do you interact as a couple, and how do you communicate the possibilities and agree on a final option? It’s not always easy to determine that outcome. In this post, we’ll discuss how to broach the more difficult topics as a couple, hopefully helping you develop a better approach.
How To Broach The More Difficult Topics As A Couple
Make Time To Settle Down and Discuss
Agreeing upon a time when you’ll sit down and discuss a topic with care and honesty is key. You might pencil in a couple of hours after work to do so when you’re both relaxed and settled. It’s also good to keep your phones away from the meeting, to avoid distractions (unless you need to Google something of course), and to just talk.
Sometimes, talking freely can help you figure out what you both want, while also avoiding the need to be super ‘productive’ like it’s a work meeting. Don’t restrict yourself, but stay on topic and make sure both people are 100% authentic instead of persuasive if you can. It will help you find out what the other person expects, be that from ICSI fertility treatments, family planning, or even who to invite to the wedding. Without the scheduled time to do this, you may keep putting it off or only engage in fragmentary conversations that never achieve a final decision.
Make Your Biases Clear
It’s good to admit that you prefer one outcome over another because it helps set up the conversation. It’s easy to fall into overly-familiar therapeutic speak instead of just being a person, and it’s okay if you disagree or conflict so long as it’s healthy.
Making your biases clear and where you’re happy to compromise can help you come to a worthwhile middle ground that both people are happy with. Just being honest about this, instead of hiding away your preferences, can help you avoid feeling bitter and as if you didn’t get a chance to speak later on.
Don’t Be Afraid To Say “No”
Relationships are about compromise, yes, but they’re also about consent where appropriate. Let’s say your partner wants to buy a restaurant and start a family business. But you’ve just had a child, and you think you should provide a little more stability before that happens. Perhaps you’re just not interested in being part of that and have made it clear.
There’s an impression that relationships need to be compromised so much that you give everything you ever wanted away, but that’s not the case. Sometimes, an honest and respectful “no” that impacts you is just as helpful as an enthusiastic yes. That doesn’t mean circumstances can’t change, but sometimes the most respectful and honest answer you can give is in the negative. If a relationship can stand that, then you have the maturity to broach the more difficult topics.
Related post: The Importance of Family Counselling: Strengthening Bonds and Resolving Conflicts
