Here are some notes I wrote in 2014 about blame and responsibility.
Never blame anyone or anything, not even yourself. There’s a difference between blaming and taking responsibility. For example, say you felt as though someone didn’t really like you or was ignoring you because you had been quiet and struggled to talk to them. Well, there’s always two ways of looking at any situation. You could blame the other person for being mean and not trying to talk to you and not giving you a chance, or you could blame yourself for not trying harder to talk to them.
But rather than blaming anyone, just take the situation as it is. Either blame could be valid and true, or both could be equally valid and true, so who cares which – they effectively cancel each other out. No matter who was ‘to blame’, the situation could be resolved by them acting differently, or by you acting differently. Either way would work.
But you can’t change how they act, so take responsibility and change how you act. Blame is irrelevant. No-one or no-thing is to blame, because situations are made up of many factors. Usually, as least one factor is under your control, so do your best to make things better. That’s taking responsibility, rather than blaming yourself or anyone else.