This is a collaborative post.
There’s a curious type of buyer in the world of luxury real estate—one who rarely makes the first move but almost always lingers in the shadows, quietly watching. They’re not fence-sitters. They’re not exactly investors, either. They’re the elusive ‘second dibs’ buyer: someone who only wants the £18 million penthouse after someone else has put in an offer. Odd? Absolutely. But in the upper echelons of real estate, odd is often the norm.
Let’s peel back the velvet curtain and explore why these buyers exist, what drives their behavior, and how their psychology is shaping the luxury real estate market in unexpected ways.
Who Are The ‘Second Dibs’ Buyers?
They’re not bargain hunters. In fact, they’re often wealthier than the original bidder. Second-dibs buyers come from a cross-section of high-net-worth individuals: international financiers, tech moguls, old-money heirs, and even the occasional celebrity with commitment issues. What they have in common is a strange addiction to validation. They want the house—but only once someone else has wanted it first. They’re not risk-averse; they’re risk-calculating. And that subtle distinction makes all the difference.
The Allure of the Already-Desired
Scarcity is a powerful drug. But scarcity with social proof? That’s a full-blown psychological cocktail. In luxury real estate, the idea that someone else has tried to snap up a property adds a layer of irresistible intrigue. It whispers, “You might be missing out.” For a segment of buyers who already have multiple homes, yachts, and art collections, the fear of missing out on this one suddenly creates an emotional itch.
These buyers often act fast—but only when the pressure is on. A signed offer or the rumour of one is often the trigger. The property transforms from “another listing” to “a coveted trophy,” and that’s when the game begins.
The Ego Factor: A Quiet Duel
A lot of real estate agents won’t say this out loud, but ego fuels more deals than location. The psychology of second-dibs buyers is rooted in a subtle form of one-upmanship. When someone else expresses a desire for a luxury asset, it’s no longer about the property. It’s about being the one who wins. In essence, second-dibs buyers don’t want the property until it becomes a contest.
You’ll often see this in sealed bid scenarios. A property sits untouched for months, and then suddenly, two offers come in on the same day, neither wanting to back down. It becomes a quiet duel wrapped in legalese and Champagne-scented paperwork.
Luxury FOMO: More Dangerous Than It Sounds
The luxury market is driven by a form of FOMO that’s more calculated than the frantic click of an online flash sale. Second-dibs buyers tend to do their homework. They monitor the market obsessively, often through advisors or wealth managers, and wait for their moment.
The moment arrives not when the price drops—but when someone else tries to take it. It’s the exclusivity, the perception of scarcity, the idea that “someone like me” wanted it first. That’s what makes them act. It’s not unlike the psychology behind rare watches or limited-edition art. When something becomes perceived as almost unavailable, it becomes infinitely more valuable.
When Desire Becomes a Mirror
There’s something inherently voyeuristic about second-dibs psychology. It’s less about the marble countertops and more about stepping into a space someone else has already desired. The buyer begins to see themselves in that desire—mirroring the original buyer’s intent, even if they never admit it.
Interestingly, brokers at Beauchamp Estates, a luxury real estate agency known for high-profile deals across Europe, have noted a consistent pattern: the most fervent offers often come after a listing is marked “Under Offer.” The psychology? If someone else is about to have it, it must be worth fighting for.
The Strategy Behind the Madness
For seasoned real estate professionals, this buyer behaviour can be a strategic advantage—if handled correctly. Some luxury agents subtly engineer the “second dibs effect” by quietly allowing word to spread that an offer is on the table, even if it’s not finalised. A whisper campaign. A hint of urgency. A carefully crafted remark over espresso at a private showing. Suddenly, the passive interest turns active.
This tactic only works in certain markets and price ranges, of course. But in places like Mayfair, Knightsbridge, or prime coastal enclaves in California and the South of France, it’s almost expected.
The Emotional Price Tag
Here’s the catch: second-dibs buyers often pay more. Because they’re not just buying the property—they’re buying the validation, the exclusivity, the thrill of the chase. They frequently go above and beyond asking to “secure the win,” even if they didn’t want the home badly two weeks earlier.
Some agents refer to this as the “revenge bid.” It’s emotional. Sometimes irrational. But highly profitable. It’s also why sellers are often advised not to take the first offer too quickly. You might just be stirring the waters for a second dibs buyer to emerge—and drop an extra million to seal the deal.
What This Says About Human Nature
Strip away the gold taps and bulletproof windows, and what you find is something oddly human. People want what others want. Especially when they’re told they can’t have it.
In the realm of luxury real estate, where choices are endless and money is no obstacle, desire becomes less about the need and more about perceived worth. The second-dibs buyer is proof that even the wealthiest among us are vulnerable to the same psychological nudges as the rest of us—just at a far higher price point.
Final Thought: Watch the Shadows
If you’re ever lucky (or strategic) enough to be selling a luxury property, don’t just focus on the first through the door. Keep an eye on the one standing silently at the back of the viewing, asking oddly specific questions, looking just a little too uninterested. Because when that first offer comes in, they might suddenly reappear. Ready. Decisive. And oddly competitive. They’ve just been waiting for their moment—to claim second dibs and walk away feeling like they got the real prize.
